Blog from on the Bog 06008372

The Final one - Its time to Bog off

2008-03-17T13:02:00.019Z

The Lecture

The Bribery of the Mini Eggs Scandal.

With this being the last tutorial of term and also the day after the biggest Piss up of the year (Longest Day) i'm surprised anyone turned up. What is more surprising is that Geneen may have known this and bought along mini eggs to Bribe the students who did turn up to come nearer the front!!!

Well i was having none of it i can tell you. I had just chomped my 2nd Peperami Firestick and there was no way i was mixing a handlfull of chocolate with that. My arse would heve been making a flash presentation of its own and i doubt if i'd be getting top marks for that.

The rest of the lecture centered on Copyright issues. it seems we have to be very carefull who'se work we use on the webpages we create. If i take a picture of someone with my camera and my media card and my batteries and my finger on the button it basically means squat. Unless i have permission then i cant use it for anything.

What if i have had a few too many spoonfulls of cabbage for dinner and my bum tells me it wants to let out a sneaky 'trouser cough'? Does this mean i can march up to anyone who has sniffed it and demand that they give it back? Can i charge royalties for it? Why not? After all its my ass, my farts, i made it etc etc.

Tenner a sniff sound reasonable?

Sounds really crazy dosn't it.

But the world is going mad i tell you. Does anyone else think the world has gone a bit too far with all this Political Correctness Crap.

I mean come on - children divorcing parents, police spending £20000 on chasing a driver who is eating an apple!!, murderers getting new lives in Australia so nobody will give them a hard time.

When will common sense take over and the insanity stop. I am a father with a 7 year old daughter who i bring up quite strictly regarding what is right and wrong. I will continue to do this as she is an example of me and my wife just as i am an example of my parents right up to them disowning me that is.

One thing i have learned though is that i am off to Singapore on holiday because apparently you can pick up as much software as you want for a fiver.

Thanks Geneen for that - if i havent learned anything from your lectures this year then this one bit of information has stuck.

The Tutorial

This week we looked a creating a splash page. The page should contain:-

A motion tween.
A shape tween.
A webpage title.
A picture graphic.
An Audio clip.

Once we had all these files then we could publish it to create the html and swf file formats. The n we put it all into Dreamweaver and got it running.

Mine - total crap, but whats new eh.

Well look on the bright side i have been given another piece of coursework from our lovely understanding lecturers, so that makes 6 pieces all to be given in just after easter holidays.

Holidays - my ass.

I may as well pictch a tent on the Ty Cranshaw lawn.

The Reflection.

Well this next few weeks i will be locked in my study, trying to scrape bare passes on the 6 pieces of coursework i have to do. I started the year with so much enthusiasm with asperations of aspiring to work as hard as i could to get 2.1's and firsts. Now i just want to scrape through.

Is life in the real world like that then. Will i have the chance to aspire to be great or will i have to settle for just good enough and mediocre.

I thought i came back to university to better myself and try to reach as high as i could. I realise that in the real world i will have to look at things a bit differently.

I also realise that things will be different when i am working in a Company and i will have to be more mature and grow up.

Here then is my idea of what working life will be like for me when i have scored my Dream Job

Work - Day 1. Multimedia Developer

As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable. For those who hate pooing at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for other pooers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom

ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK
When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALKOF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER
A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooer enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.

THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooer of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking andvulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooer can poo in peace.

WATERMELON
A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion.
See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELETTE A case of diarrhea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poo when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

Day 2............if there is a day 2.

Im sorry but you'll never change me, i am what i am. Have a good year and be happy. Im off for a sneaky trouser burp and i may charge you for it too....

....

I didn't say that your honour.........oh yes you did...let me show you!!!

2008-03-14T13:43:00.004Z

The Lecture

In this weeks lecture we moved onto Audio Media material. We looked at the mulimedia Palette and discussed the role of sound in multimedia in general.

We discussed the problems and the limitations of incorperating audio into our web designs and also looked at the relative file sizes and the effect these huge files can have on the usability of our site.

I had a look at home on some tips and tricks sites on how to incorporate snazzy sounds to my pages and came up with the following links.

Audio link.
Moviewave site

The moviewav site was awesone and i have had some fun trawling through looking for my favourite sound themes.

The Tutorial.

This week we played around with a new piece of software called Audacity. This is a sound editing software package that allows you to record and manipulate audio snippets ready for future use. The sound snippet we had was a recording of two lecturers voices introducing themselves and a nasty crackle within the recording.

Our task (if we wished to undertake it) was to join these introductions and get rid of the crackle to make a smooth sounding track.

Well this was done in matter of a few minutes and then boredome set in. To which i then started fiddling with the various filters and effects to which you could apply to the sound file.

It goes without saying then that i managed to make Daniels voice sound like he was:-

1 On Helium.
2 On Cannabis.
3 On Speed.
4 On the bog (echo and grunts)

So cool then - i can manipulate sound tracks and pretty much make them sound as i like.

Personal Reflection.

What have i learned then. Well i can manipulate sounds and place them into my web space for future use. I went home from the lecture and started recording sounds from around the home and then tweaked them using my evaluation copy of Audacity.

So after a while of fiddling with this i started to wonder about the ethics of this.

What if someone recorded me talking and then manipulated my words and altered my sentences to say something completely different.

I constantly get disclaimers on the phone saying that my conversation is being recorded for customer satisfaction reasons and to provide a better service in the future!

I soon realised that my recorded sentences could be used as evidence in the future if i wasn't carefull. This really worried me.

On researching this i found out that a number of utility companies are using sound recording to illegally trap their customers into contracts with them.

These companies record your conversations and look for keywords such as 'yes' and 'no' and then apply them to statements that they ask to trick you into a new contract.

Again i have found a dark side to the multimedia revolution and all its gains.

It seems that big brother is not only watching you, he is listening to you and recording everything you say too.

I'm off for a crap...........................Why is there a microphone in the bogroll holder i wonder????

ss out.

Scheduling!!!!!!!!!!!!!eat my ass.......................

2008-03-03T09:00:00.011Z

The Lecture.

I was ill this week and could not attend - (stomach bug) on researching the subject it was just a follow on from last week on text and fonts.

One thing i have to shout about this term is the state of the scheduling of our work. We have had a long period of complete inactivity for the last month and now i have been issued with four pieces of heavy assignments in one week!!!!!!! This is a complete piss take. Why we have our assignments spread evenly across the term time. Its crazy and its causing a lot of stress amoungst the other students.

And before someone pipes up and says "Well if you read your prospectus it says you are expected to allocate 40 hours a week for your study time" i know this, and do so, sometimes to the detriment of my home life.

For example the last assignment i completed was a 30 hour piece of work for computer systems. I actually took approx 50 hours to complete this as i took a great pride in my work and subsequently achieved a 2.1 mark. Why then do i feel dissapointed with this grade? Well as i sat at the front of the class on the hand in of the assignment i noticed something really bad.

Students were handing in their assignments and i'm not kidding you, some of them were nothing more than 2 or 3 pages of A4 stapled together with a scribbled name on them???????

I could read the lecturers facial expression as this crap was handed in to him. It must be sooo easy for him to gauge who will pass and who will fail this coursework by the quality of work given to him.

My work was 31 sheets spread over 4 sections and a bibliography, all bound in a document holder with backup cd rom in case of any accidents. I worked my nuts off on it too as i wanted a good first grade to set up a foundation for the next 2 courseworks.

Why am i pissed off then???

Well with the volume of coursework that has been thrown at me this week i will have to make tough decisions to which assignment is going to take the most of my time.

One piece will have to take the hit for grades for another and that to me is not right. I want to try to get as high a grade as possible on all my work not pick and choose what work i think will scrape a pass and what work will gain good marks.

Then i was told from a senior lecturer that the object of year 1 was to get onto year 2 and the marks didnt really matter as long as you passed!!!!!!!!

So why dont i just allocate equal time to each assignment then in the hope of just scraping a 40% on all.

This seems wrong to me - if the scheduling of coursework was equal then it would not happen.

Rant over for now.

The Tutorial.

We were on dreamweaver again this week. I am getting frustrated with the teaching methods though! First let me point out Andreas is awesome. If theres an issue then he is very supportive and knowledgable. My point is that in my opinion the tutorials are not set out correctly.

We are given a paper worksheet to get on with and any problems we are expected to pipe up to Andreas. Ok thats fair enough but can i make a suggestion on another teaching method.

USE MULTIMEDIA NOT
MULTI PAPERSHEETS

Why not set the tutorial up on the computer that is linked to the projector screen. Actually then do the tutorial sheet step by step with all the students following on their computers.

Visually it would be so much more effective.

It would save the lecturer sooooo much time in having to go round each student one by one with problems.

Think of the paper mass saved each week.

You will get a better attention span from the students too.

Please feel free to comment on this idea.

The Reflection.

Well this week i feel that i have been fairly negative, but i feel my comments are warranted.

The module title is Multimedia Computing and i expect to learn a range of multimedia tools and techniques to enable me to go out into the real world and earn big money.

I am not going to go out into the real world after learning all this and start using a pencil and paper again!

If that was the case then we would all be driving around on horse and carts after spending all day designing Porsches wouldn't we.

Off to make some brown soap....................SPLADOOOOOOOOSH , get round the u-bend baby!!.

Big Gay Fonts!

2008-02-08T16:03:00.000Z

The Lecture

This weeks went a lot better (it couldn't go any worse could it?) Even my mate Matt had a smile on his face although it may be down to his lovelife changing for the better (True Love).

So lets move on to another set of small characters - Fonts.

Daniel this week spoke to us about fonts and their design and useage.

We learned about weights, width, thickness, length and ones with curly ends. It sounds like an interview for a porno film doesn't it (calm down Nia and Natalie!!!)

Long gone are the days when you had only Times New Roman or Courier to use. Now you have thousands of different font designs available.

You have also different classes of font each with subtle variations that can produce markedly different effects and designs. Fonts can display anger, movement, funny, shouting, script and many other emotions too. You can even get 'Relational Fonts'

I wonder then if you can get Gay Fonts? and if you can would it look like this.

There thats my first font design done. I named it Blue Oyster Bar 18 pt.

And before anyone starts accusing me of being a homophobe, Im not. I know loads of gay people and at least one of them is ok!

Anyway back to the plot. Fonts need to be structured on the page sensibly. Their alignment needs to be pleasing to the eye and easy to read. Too much crammed in will simply push the viewer to hit the home button. Likewise too little, making the viewer constantly scroll down or to the next page.

I have viewed some really bad sites in my time and it is no coincidence that none of these are in my favourites folder.

A valid point though is that not everyones machine may have the font you are using. I have spent hours in the past making a page look good in a document only for an older machine to take my hard work and reproduce it in a dinosaur font like Suckass 10 pt!

We as developers need to consider where our designs are going to and make sure that we can happily port them onto everyones machines.

The Tutorial.

More Dreamweaver again this week. We used our layout tools and Css styles to create a pseudo web page with a heading 'Here is some Lovely Content' There was nothing lovely about my content though. And i had to remap my drive space again as it had dissapeared!

I have downloaded (legally honest!) a dreamweaver dummies guide which i am going to read chapter by chapter until i get it right. I would like also to have access to this space from my home based pc. This will enable me to carry on with the tutorial in the house.

For the past 2 weeks no-one in the class has been able to finish the worksheet in the 1 hour time slot. This is a real ball ache as i cant then finish it at home as i cant access my drive space. Help please. If i need to set this up please tell me as i will do it.

The reflection.

After the tutorial i did a little test with different fonts in the house.

I made a picture containing words made of fonts that would appeal to children and adults alike. My daughter Paige then came and had a look at them and told me which ones she liked.

My Observations

She loved the ones that looked like smarties and skittles.

The scripty curly ones were boring.

The thick ones were boring too.

Then i asked my wifes opinion.

She also liked the smarties and skittles typeface.

She didn't like the thick ones (a female thing - avoid all things fat)

She liked the scripty curly fonts as it maked the text look important and sophisticated.

I will over the next week or so make two fonts especially for her -

Psycho Bitch italic 12 pt
You aint getting any tonight 14 pt extra bold.

Even the dog had a look, but she was more interested in the custard cream on my mousemat.

I'm glad my daughter takes after me, although i dont know where she gets her cheek from?

See u next week as i'm off to produce some brown curly fonts of my own in the bog.

Oi ..........where's my f****** biscuit gone? .............Bastard dog!!!!

ss.

NightmareWeaver.

2008-02-02T08:10:00.000Z

The Tutorial

This weeks lesson started with a new topic - Dreamweaver. It all started good, the instructions were laid out fine and the topic was really easy to follow. Then i couldn't follow them at all. I couldn't find one of the options and due to a typo, my web page wouldn't load. It turned out that there was an issue with the tutorial sheet as it was constructed for a previous version of Dreamweaver and the lab's pc's are running the later one. I found this very frustrating as at first i thought the problem was me (again) and its a good job that Andreas was there to fix things as i would have been in this mess all day.

The Lecture

This week Daniel talked about the role of text within multimedia. We looked at the rules of point sizes and how they work in relation with eachother on a document. I have to admit i thought point sizes meant the size of the font. I didn't know that they actually mean the physical space taken up on the page instead. That was an eye opener. Then Daniel moved onto how as developers we will have to be carefull how we make a webpage. If we have no knowledge at all of the subject matter and have to produce a website for a paying customer it may all turn ugly as the designing we do may be out of sync with the content. I also found out that Daniel wants to start an Elvis Funeral Business!!! Oh My God.

Here are some popular Elvis Songs for the wake.

CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE (oh sh*t i did!!)

CRYING IN THE CHAPEL (Tight sod didn't leave me a bean)

NEARER MY GOD TO THEE (Only if youve been good)

SHE WEARS MY RING (The bitch)

THE LAST FAREWELL (Until the enbalming)

THERE'S NO TOMORROW (Not where he's going)

THEY REMIND ME TOO MUCH OF YOU (And they aint angels - you work it out)

THINKING ABOUT YOU (Wait till you read the will, Bitch)

THIS IS LIVING (Are you taking the piss?)

THIS IS MY HEAVEN (How do i get this coffin lid open?)

WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES (Not as if i need em now is it?)

WAY DOWN (This hole in the cemetary)

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE (Now you've remarried you bitch!)

IT KEEPS RIGHT ON A-HURTIN' ( You shut the coffin lid on my pecker!!!!)

INHERIT THE WIND - it is a well known fact that corpses can fart for up to 72 hours after the time of death!!!!

There we are Daniel. If you need any more i can keep them coming.

The Reflection.

When i am usung a software package i need to make sure that the relevent documentation is for its version. With software companies though this may be hard. We have Adobe CS3 at the moment. Theres a platinum version of this, an enterprise version of that. Version 8, 7, 6, 11..... Its a never ending spiral with only one benefactor - the software companies themselves. I mean are you going to upgrade your development software suite to the latest version every year? And what for? maybe a few extra icons and a different colour background. No wonder illegal filesharing has become the norm. I will be spending some time over the next few weeks playing with dreamweaver in the house in my spare time and in uni time. It looks good. Just need to buy the right book for it though.

ss out.

Its all Crap Really...................

2008-01-28T18:35:00.000Z

The Tutorial.

This week Andreas had us working with photoshop again but this week we linked our work to a different colour background.

One was yellow and one was red.

We manipulated a picture and overlayed it with text so that the picture took on the texts form. I chose to have my text underlayed with real flames and it looked pretty swish.

Then we took our text and placed it onto a colour background. My text then looked pretty sh*t.

Looked even worse on the yellow one!!!

The lecture.

Daniel talked this week about HTML and how we will need to set our web pages up in a logical format when we produce them.

We looked at validation through a website that takes our pages and marks them to its own standards.

When i make my webpage i will have to look into this as it can easily turn into a visual nightmare.

I have always tried to stick to a logical set of rules when i write test and produce reports. This is to make sure the script seems balanced and the text flows. I learned this week that there are a set of standards that we can use for the web too.

The reflection

I will have to keep a careful eye on my web pages in the future. I dont want to make a page that is hard to read and puts the viewer off in the first look. My page will undoubtedly be full of crap then but at least it would look pleasing to the eye.

It seems you can polish a turd then!!!!!

ss

Week two of the new year............. Only 50 weeks to christmas....

2008-01-28T17:52:00.000Z

The Tutorial.

This week Andreas gave us some artwork in photoshop that consisted of a clock face, a keyboard and some valves. I got to mess with the layers that these items were in to have a finished picture that overlays itself and looks really cool.

One problem though to me is keeping track of all the different menus on the screen. You need a map just to find all the options and a memory like an elephant to know how to use them in the future.

They say practice makes perfect. Well i'll be perfect in about 20 years then the way i'm going.

The Lecture

Daniel spoke to us today about icons. I believe i am an icon. The reality is that i see myself completely different to everyone else.

In life today everything has an icon.

So what is an icon then. It is a graphical representation of something real.

An icon can also be used for an instruction. We saw a number of different icons that depicted the same thing, which was a car diagram. Each icon though was from a different person or perspective ranging from a complex car drawing to a childs scribble of a car.

The Reflection.

Graphics are taking over the world. They are everywhere. They are supposed to make our lives easier, faster, smarter - but do they. I watched a film last week set in Japan and everything is a mass of flashing lights and pictures depicting the physical object. Does this mean that as humans we are getting too lazy to read text? What will happen in years to come then? When will it all end? Imagine a newspaper with no text just pictures!

I think the world is turning into a very impersonal place to live in. Email is a good thing but it does cut out the human interaction between 2 people. Also people can hide behind emails and become instant keyboard warriors. I have seen this and it is sad.

I like meeting new people.

I like talking to people.

I like hearing people talk.

I like experiencing things that heighten my senses and produce a surge of adrenaline.

Imagine then a world where you get a picture of the place, the person or the food instead of the real thing.

That, my friend feels like a prison to me.

Thats me finished then as i'm off for a

Back at Last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-01-28T17:17:00.001Z

What a bloody nightmare i have had for the past two weeks.

We have changed our Broadband provider and inturn have had all our email accounts wiped by them before switching over. The Bastards!!!!!!!I lost all my passwords for my computer and have had to rely on memory to get anything done.

My blogs have been on stop because of this as blogger would not give me my details as i couldn't remeber my email details. AAAAAArrrrgghhhhhhhhhhh.

Today i finally found a six month old email from them confirming my registration to blogspot and managed to get my account back up. So i'm posting all the blogs that i have been keeping since christmas.

Post Christmas Hangover.

Yes - i had an ipod for christmas.

No - it wasn't the ipod touch.

Yes - i threw a paddy.

No - my missus wasn't amused.

Yes i felt a royal t*** for sulking about it after.

After my initial paddy i started using the ipod and realised it wasn't such a bad thing after all. No it dosn't have a snazzy touch screen and it dosnt have the shake interface either, but it does have a whopping 180 gig of storage which means i can fill it with my Pink Floyd collection and backup my 2 pc's and still have enough room to port my uni work back and fore.

So my initial sulk was a bit pointless really.......What a tit then.

The Lecture.
Photoshop has always baffled me. I spent today moving a carrot around the monitor to make a veggie face. Then i moved a broccoli. Then i moved a tomato.
I ended up with a face that looks like my mother in law on a good day. I hope then that photoshop isn't entirely vegeatable based as i will be majorly bored in the future.

The tutorial.
I had to miss the tutorial this week due to a doctors appointment with my daughter therefore i am going to talk about my misdemeanor with my lost passwords.

The computer and multimedia revolution is brilliant, wonderful, amazing etc, but i found out this week a harsh reality.

If the user is a complete idiot then computers and multimedia are about as much use as a fart in a spacesuit.

I am constantly being asked to change my password for security reasons - which i do. Then i cant remeber the passwords. So i write them down somewhere. So whats the point of having a password then if i have to write it somewhere? So i leave an backdoor for someone to find them and hack my accounts.

My point is that the multimedia IT. revolution is great for all the good things it gives us, but due to information theft it can all go horribly wrong.

The reflection.

I have had eye surgery, knee surgery, dental surgery, limb surgery. One thing i cant fix though is my memory. My computer and all its add ons are fine - as long as i can remember how to use them. Thats the hard part.

For me it is one of the most frustrating things in life when i can't remember something vital.

I forget names, places, dates, meetings, birthdays, and other inportant things all the time. I was given a diary. I forgot where i put it.

I have even forgotten where i have parked my car in the past. After an hour of angry remonstrating to the car park manager it turned out that i was in the wrong car park building altogethor!!!

My car was in the NCP car park. I was throwing a fit in the next building across.

What a knob!

I won't forget that one in a hurry.
ss

Last week of Uni 2007 Yippeeeeeeeee

2007-12-10T09:28:00.000Z

Haloooooooooo,

Its my last week in University and my last chance this year to pester the lecturers for assignment help and guidance. Strange this week i saw a few students who haven't attended since week 1 and 2?????? Why bother then? Surely you can spend the whole term studying through blackboard?

The tutorial.

This week i played around with flash again to produce target paths of objects by nesting. I have to admit my name revolving around looked quite cool to me but the wife as usual thought it was a complete load of crap. I told her i would rather do this all day then make databases and spreadsheets like she does. She replied "Databases and spreadsheets are important, flash aint."

She can stick her Ipod up her *rse now for that, i'll get her a pair of slippers instead!

The Lecture.

Same old , same old - chopsing in the tutorial. I know its getting near breaking up time but its still a problem. Geneen threw out one student for persistant interuption. I bet he felt a complete tool when he trudged out of the hall in front of the rest of us. Stupid kid.

We watched Bill Clinton Voodoo again but this time with sound. I wonder if Monica Lewinsky has seen it yet, although she's already seen a few flashes from Clinton in the past!!

Geneen then demonsrated the new Ipod Touch gizmo. Its really cool too. You can maximise and minimise pictures by simulating stretching and squashing with your fingers on the screen. The missus has been dropping hints for one for the past few weeks so i may have to fork out for one. I have been searching for a good deal for one of them on the net for the past few days and one thing has become frighteningly clear. If you are a bit naieve at online shopping then you may be in for a shock. I have found the 8 gig version for sale at a reputable site for £179.99. So i thought i would look on Ebay for a better deal. The exact same units are advertised on there for £200 and up. It is not only the Ipod either. Shark traders are exploiting the Christmas shortages in stocks to fleece people with the Nintendo Wii being the top culprit. The Wii retails at £179.99 and some dealers are asking for £350 for the same or even imported units.

This proves a point to me. The web is great, but only if you know what you are doing. Its like electricity - its great until you get a nasty shock.

My reflection.

I use the web now on average of 7 hours a day. I sleep on average for 6 hours a day. I eat for about 2 hours and i attend university for approx 6 hours a day and the other 3 hours i use up doing my daily stuff.

So in a year this looks like this.

Web 2555 hours or 107 days or 15 weeks a year.

Ten years ago my daily routine looked like this.

Television 6 hours a day. Sleep 8 hours. Eating 2 hours. School 8 hours.

So in a year it looks like this.

TV 2190 hours or 91 days or 13 weeks a year.

I would assume that the web and its multimedia revolution has taken over as the single most important item in my day to day life. I look back and think of how i lived without it and also think of what will replace it in the future for my daughters enjoyment and education.

Also i look at how technology affects my daughter in her wants and needs.

Paige is 6 years old and this year for Christmas she asked for a Nintendo Wii.
When i was 6 years old i think i wanted an action man with his Jeep.

Its a sobering thought.

Next year she will be asking for a PDA.

Im off to crimp one out.

Happy christmas and be safe and sober.

ss

"Do you feel Lucky Punk"

2007-12-02T11:30:00.000Z

The Tutorial

This week we were playing about with flash again and tweening within a tween. I seem to be getting to grips with the flash process slowly. I have a problem remembering all the things to do though and the order that they need to be done in. Practice makes perfect though so over the christmas break i will have lots of fun with it.

The Lecture.

Geneen gave a strong warning at the start of the lecture regarding students palying games on their Laptop Computers. I have to say that i have watched a few students playing solitaire and msn messaging their mates through the lecture and its plain disrespectful.

I attended a lecture last week where the students actually stopped the lecture completely with their chatter and even heckling the lecturer as he taught. Then complained to him at the end that they weren't happy that he stopped teaching!!!!!!!!!

He had to put up with the following:-

Students on their laptops x 3.

Two groups of students openly and loudly chatting through his presentation.

When one group of students were asked politely to stop talking they blatently then started texting eachother.

Heckling from a group of students who included the ICT course representive!!

The above group then walked out when the lecture was disrupted.

The course rep. then decided to speak on behalf of the others and tell the lecturer that he should resume his lecture as before. This is the guy who was the loudest of the group and caused the most problems in the class.

I couldn't just sit there and let him speak for me and our class so i confronted him and his gang of muppets. I told him in no weak manner that he did not resresent me in any way, nor had i asked him to, and if he was going to disturb the lecture again then he should **** off.

Needless to say they swiftly shot out through the classroom door. I realise that i am a few years older than some of the multimedia students but i was really ashamed of the behaviour and total lack of respect shown.

At the end of the class I apologised to the lecturer for my outburst but asked him not to class me with the yob gang as, i need to learn this stuff as i haven't done any multimedia studies before.

After all i will be paying the loans and fees off for the next 20 years or so and i'll be damned if a bunch of yobs are going to cost me the grades i need to get to year 2 and 3.

Quote from the urban dictionary 2007.

yob

see townie

they usually walk around in mobs of 5+ causing havoc or annoyance to those in the vicinity .

Anyway rant over.

The Reflection.

I will need to look closely at the colours i use in my multimedia presentations - and check the pages for Hex codes.

I wont be sitting there in my seat if the lecture is disturbed in future . I will be dealing with it.

I need to check whether i am colour blind after looking at all the colours in the hex charts i can see spots.

Im off to the quiet room with no noise or behaviour issues.

AAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH NO BOGROLL YOU LITTLE F*******Noooooooooooo.....

Week 7 Baaaaaa Humbuuuuuuug.

2007-11-25T10:24:00.000Z

Tis a sad day in our house as the Missus made me put up the Christmas Tree.
Yes im made the annual trek up into the loft looking for crappy tinsel and cheesy baubles for the amusement of our ankle biter.

Still on the bright side i made Gunnery Seargent 2 on call of duty 4 last night after 18 hours continuous play!

The lecture.

Due to my father being rushed into hospital with a ruptured gall bladder i missed the lecture. Instead i am going to talk about the hospitals I.T. stuff.

First of all - you are not allowed to use a mobile phone in the hospital at all. Ok i can undertand that its not very professional to have your wife ring you in the middle of a heart transplant.

I know hospitals have a habit of leaving surgical instruments inside patients so maybe thats why.

I guess someone lost their mobile in the middle of an operation, and two weeks later a 60 year old woman from Doncasters arse started ringing. It took ages for her to type the reply! Point taken.

It does seem a bit of a joke though as walking through the ward to my old mans bed there were wireless gateway transmitters everywhere.

All the wards computer screens were busy with patient detail information on a dedicated NHS software program - except one. The main admissions desk on the ward had Spider Solitaire on it!!!!!

Shoud've gone to Bupa the tight old s*d. (They have tetris there apparently!!!)

The tutorial

Yes were back on with Geneen after 3 weeks of Mr C. this week we spent most of the tutorial looking at blind or partially sighted users and the way they interact with their computers.

Stick man flash file.

Made me think a bit, as i have always been under the impression that once you lose your sight then its game over really. It's amazing though that sight impared people just adapt to their situation and with the help of new technology have overcome their disabilities.

I remember when i had laser eye surgery 2 years ago and for the first week i couldn't see anything other than blurry images. It was a bad time for me losing my primary sense as all i could do was listen to the radio between taking antibiotics and painkillers. The only thing i had satisfaction in was looking at the digital readout on the video player as every day the words slowly became clearer and clearer as my eyes healed.

The Dragon Naturally Speaking program is awesome though. What an amazing tool for really lazy people like me. Could this be the end for the keyboard? I wont be able to throw a grenade as fast in Call of Duty 4 online so i dont think so.

Reflection.

I'm glad that flash is back.

I'm glad i am not blind.

I'm also glad that Geneen is back.

I don't like gall bladders.

I'm seriously thinking of finding a demo of that voice typing software from somewhere (pirate no officer - shareware honest!!)

Thats me done, i'm off as my ass just started ringing.

Byeee.

Week 7 I really hate Christmas now!!!!

2007-11-18T12:26:00.000Z

Christmas Bunnies

The lecture

Yippeee Daniel has up dated the module by putting all of his notes onto blackboard. I was having trouble last week by copying down the notes and trying o listen at the same time. Glad thats sorted though.

We were asked wether we thought that monitoring a persons use of a website was ethical. I always thought that you needed permission to monitor someones internet usage and the person had to give his permission to have this done.

My initial thoughts were that i agreed that a person could only have his usage monitored if he or she agreed to it.

I quickly changed my opinion though when i was given an example of a chat site that was being monitored for paedophile activity. Plainly if the moderators gave their intentions out openly, both the kids and any unsavoury characters would soon turn tale and dissapear.

This would negate the need to monitor and i guess that this type of control would be ok for no permission.

The Tutorial

This weeks tutorial had us again looking at the University of Glamorgans web page but this time as a different or third person. We each chose a ficticious person and used him or her as a basis for a visit to the web site. Using Nielsens guidelines again we looked at wether the website fulfilled our needs.

I pretended to be a prospective new student looking for information on the Mathamatics degrees on offer.

I have to be honest i found the site good for this purpose and i found the information i needed straight away.

Refection.

Well i am pretty well worried now about internet chat rooms i can tell you. I have a 7 year old daughter who wont be allowed to use them in the future and i may even stop her using the sky remote from now on for that matter!!!!

This prompted me to read up for myself.

http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/chatguide/parents/index.shtml

http://resources.kaboose.com/safe-surf/parents-intro.html

I guess the old addage of "It dont really matter untill it happens to you" this is true - sadly.

On a serious not i learned this week that not everything is as black and white as they seem. Sadly this is the world we live in now and although the web is a phenominal tool for all to use there are, as always some people who will spoil it for others.

Thats me off to the little room armed with a magazine and some andrex.

byee...

Jingle Balls!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-09T20:44:00.001Z

I cant believe what i saw 2 weeks ago. I was leaving the house for a gym session on october the 25th and i passed a house with their Christmas decorations up already. If thats not taking the *iss then i dont Know what is.

Christmas - i hate it already.

Check out the real reason why Frosty the snowman loves children. I wish he would come down my street for a visit. Some of the residents are too rough for the Jeremy Kyle show!!!!!

The Lecture.

The first thing i noticed is that the numbers have gone down a fair bit in the auditorium (yippeeee - see post on week 1 and 2.)

The second thing i noticed is the noisy *uggers are still there though and it looks like they have driven away the good ones gggrrrrrr.

Daniel Cunliffes tutorial this week centered on Usability again.

The main topics are.

1. System Acceptability.
This explains how a system is excepted as easy to use from criteria such as social acceptability, usefullness and utility in use.

2. Beyond Usability.
The users experience of the system broken down into the following :- Enjoyment, engagement, entertainment, satisfaction and repeatable qualities.

3. Experience levels
The novice, the intermediate and the power user or expert. Three types of user but all with one thing in common. They all started as novices.

The Tutorial.

This week in the tutorial Andreas gave us a handout (booooooooo) on guidelines for web sites. This lectures theme was to remind us that our websites designs need to follow a set of sensible guidelines or else they may become a complete failure.

We devided up into groups and grilled the University website again and examined the site under the criteria in the following web page guidelines.

1. A very stiff official Government guideline site.

2. Jacob Nielsons guideline site.

I have to say that the University website comes out extremely well against the questions posed.

On a personal note I prefered the Nielson site.

You can give me a flash tutorial anyday though.

Reflection.

My reflection on this weeks study is mainly from Daniels tutorial. I learned that we as future multimedia designers have to be carefull how we design and implement our systems. We have to be aware of our target audience. If we overlook this then our site or application will fail. We have to make our applications easily accessible for the novice and intermediate users, but also have enough technical and powerfull applications for the more experiences users. We as humans get bored easily and from my experiences i get bored if:-

a. I find something too easy.

b. I find something too hard.

This has to be taken into consideration when implementing any multimedia design.

Quite a heavy week this week.

See you on week 7 - dodging carol singers knowing my luck.

Ba humbug.

Or in my case Ba humbog.

ss

Week 5 - Painkillers make you Sleeeeeeeep zzzzzzzzzz.

2007-11-03T21:11:00.000Z

This beautiful scene greeted me through my window on friday afternoon. Still as awe inspiring now as when i was a little child.

Hellooo, It is week 5 already. I have had a week on painkillers for my whiplash and i cant remember much as the dosage is sooo high.

The Lecture.

We have Daniel Cunliffe this week who spoke about Userbility in the Modern world. Part of the lecture was to show us an old Television Control Panel from one of his old tv's. It had just 6 buttons, BBC1, BBC2, ITA1, ITA2, volume and on. "Anyone remember using one of these?" he asked us. I became distinctly aware that i did and there was no way was i owning up to it either.

I learned from the lecture that you have to be very aware as a designer that your interface has to be relevent to its subject audience. If you are making an interface for kids then you have to make it appeal to them with something familiar to grab their attention. Last year i made a small calculator program in Visual Basic, the buttons 1-9 were coloured smarties with a Pokemon background.
My daughter immediately noticed it and it kept her attention span due to the design and not the way it worked. Just as well really as it was complete crap.

The Tutorial.

Andreas has taken this weeks tutorial and handed us a load of A4 paper sheets (always a bad sign.)
These were questionairs on a chosen web site. We chose the University site as our group all have used it and pretty much know it inside out.

We answered questions on the pro's and cons of the site. I personally find the Glamorgan site ok. Its easy to read, easy to navigate and on the whole fairly responsive to my needs.

The only real negative on the site is that i'm fed up with the colours blue and yellow. I think its time for a colour change now guys. And i already know that i am extraordinary and i don't need reminding. After all the medical experiments i've already come to this conclusion!!

Reflection.

I dont really relate that well to paper sheets anymore. i think i have become so used to the blackboard learning tool and have come to like it. Going back to paper seemed like a real chore and it seemed the others in the class felt this way too.

On the plus side Daniel is a really funny guy and he got the attention of the auditorium with his unique way of speaking. I have to admit that he was very good. I found the lecture inspiring and a great way to finish off the week.

Link to Daniels blog is found here. Its quite complex but nonetheless an interesting waste of fifteen minutes - especially as im perched on the porcelain throne.

Now wheres that air freshener gone. Phoooooooooooooooooey.

See you next week.

ss.

Week 4 - Gorillas

2007-10-26T21:15:00.000+01:00

Wahey. Next week the countdown for Christmas starts and its 8 weeks and counting.

I have had a mothers, mother of a week.

My Bug has gone back to the Garage with faulty paint.

My other car the Almera (sh*tbox) had a kid in a MGR smash up my backside and write it off.

Whiplash is good fun too by the way.

My wifes car got bumped by her mother who drove into the back of her father!!!!!!!!

So all three cars out of action in the space of 2 days.

The Tutorial.

This week i had a go at animation tweening. My inital word turned into another relative word slowly almost by a morphing technique. I will have to get the hang of keyframes and their positions as i keep forgetting to implement new keyframes and the tweening ends in a jumble at the end. Still practice makes perfect. I will crack it by next week.

I am slowly reading the flash for dummies book and its pretty good for a complete amatuer like me. I have a week of quiet time in the house next week as my little girl is staying at my parents house, so i will spend some time in flash to get it right.

The tutorials are great by the way. The weighting is just perfect for new flash users like me ans Andreas is pretty helpfull too.

The Lecture.

Laughed my *ss off with the Bush and Blair love song. The flash movie was the best home brew animation i have ever seen. The amount of imagination in the animator v animation flash movie was astounding. I want to be able to make flash movies like that. And if it didn't inspire me to learn flash competently then nothing will. Congrats. Geneen that was a great showcase - i loved it. I found the follow up movie on the web at home too.

The volume in the hall was a bit deafening - i think at one point it nearly woke up Ed. Campbell (Software Engineering.)

The lecture seems to be one of those lessons that you wish never ended. It is both informative and interesting too. The wife on the other hand has a different viewpoint when she found me glued to the home computer, moving my name from one part of the screen to the other. "Arent you learning anything worthwhile?" she chortled at me on friday when she came home.
"Next week i'll move your name from one side to the other!" i shot back, as she trudged off downstairs disgusted. She can look out. I'll soon be tweening pictures of her mother and the devil (maybe one and the same already.)

Reflection.
Just seeing the flash animation movie files has shown me what i want to get out of Multimedia Computing. If i can master flash then i will have a solid platform to start with for years 2 and 3.

My timetable does not give me much in the way of free periods around the tutoral and lecture times, therfore i need to set myself some quiet time at home where i wont get disturbed learning the flash package. Also need to invest in some bigger flash drives to transport my own files back and forth to university. I have a busy week ahead.

Off to bed but first the small room.

See you next week

ss

week 3

2007-10-14T00:19:00.000+01:00

Hello, Yes its week 3 already. The time is whizzing by - soon it'll be chrimbo.

This weeks lecture was great. Our blogs are starting to take shape and it's nice to be in a small group.

The tutorial.
The tutorial is great. Flash is a complete hoot to use and it looks like the assignment will be using this software package too. I didn't want to move a square around the screen so a spider appeared and did the rounds of my monitor. My blogs' email address has been sent in to the university lecturer and its' ready to rock. Our lecturer Geneen Stubbs is totally mad and she has a wicked sense of humour, so i hope my own warped sense of humour will be tolerated.

The computer lab has been updated with some spanking new machines with a few Apple Macs in the middle too. The bad news is that Vista (yuk) has been installed on the server and no-one else likes it either.

The Lecture.
The lecture in the auditorium hall is sweet. Unfortunetly the group is huge. There must be up to 250 plus students crammed in there. Sadly, some of them are not as respecful to the students around them.

My main gripe though, is that there are so many people talking through the lecture. Ok we all like a chat but come on guys leave it for outside. Its hard to concentrate with trying to listen to the lecturer, and at the same time a student harping on about her recent date that has turned to ****.

I particularly like the web sites that Geneen showed us at the auditorum. Michael Kamens site is awesome. Hopefully i can aspire to build my own site in the future and if it is half as good as this one then i will be happy.

Reflection on week 3.
This sounds a bit cruel but i really hope the tutorial numbers go down a bit and the ones that don't really want to be there drift off elsewhere. If students don't want to listen to the lecturer then why turn up in the first place. I hate the feeling of missing out on a really important bit of information because of a group of people talking through the tutorial. I must be starting to sound like an old fart.

I have purchased and installed the following:-

Adobe CS3 suite.

And bought this to accompany it:-

CS3 for Dummies.

Over the next few months i will be spending a few hours a week learning the basics from the book and using this to crack the sofware suite.

Off to bed. First the bog though!

See ya next week.

ss

Week 2 - oct 11 2007

2007-10-11T09:02:00.000+01:00

Hello, Yes - back on the bog.

Nearly finished my bug now.

Here's a new pic of it sat in the car - park at Uni.

Well Uni itself was a bit better this week. Blues and reds was a bit of fun in Business Applications. Problem solving had a test (first of 10 eeeek), and we had an assignment already. Good job it's only a C.V. print out. Still gave me a chance to brush up on my facts for the employers out there.

The Tutorial.
We carried on from last week with the blog setup. My blog is taking shape and hopefully will have a common structure to follow over the next few weeks. We did a bit more on flash this wek and i managed to get a spider to zip around the screen.

Matthew Neil is here from last year although he is off sick at the moment (shammer). James Gulliford has been sick this week too - i wonder what they have been up to? James' blog is going strong too.

The Lecture

The lecture is too full. Im getting really frustrated with all the background chatter from certain groups of students and if it carries on - well it's gonna get emotional!!!!Problem solving with computers has the same problem too, it is so packed out there are people sitting on the floor. Must be a better way to do this?

Geneen showed us some cool sites though. The online guide for setting up RSS feeds was really cool.

Reflection on week 2

I will be busy, busy, busy. I need to master the art of 'blogging' and structure my week to be able to read and research the use of flash.

My external reading book that come courtest of an online download (shoot him the pirate) is called 'Blogging for dummies.' I will be avidly reading it over the next few weeks to help me further.

Also i am scanning through this web page called The 'Dummies Guide to Blogging' As the title suggests, i am no expert but with a few weeks reading, who knows what i can do.

Hey, i just noticed. All my reading is centered around me being a dummy. I will have to take a look at that one.

Anyway i'm off to bed.

ss

Week 1 October 1 - 7 2007

2007-10-11T08:49:00.000+01:00

Oh my God. What the hell am i doing back here??? Didn't i have enough crap last year. Oh yeah, i remember, last year i was a foundation year student. I recall our year tutor saying, "You lot arent even on the bottom rung of the ladder yet and most of you are going to fall off anyway."

Well here i am in year 1 proper. This is my blog which is quite fitting really as i'm writing it on the toilet with my laptop propped on the washing basket.

You could call it 'The blog on the bog', sorry i couldn't resist that one.

Well week 1 has been manic for me. I started the week a bit different from last year by being part of a much larger group of students. Last year there were 28 students at enrollment. This year i'm in a group of anything up to 200+.

Nice to see Nigel Stanton is taking me for Business Applications though, he's a good bloke who looks out for his students.

Well i'm off - three wipes and i'm awaaaaaay....

ss